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When to Say When...

One of the things I’ve been dreading most since I found out Lulu had cancer was making the dreaded decision to call it quits. While I’ve never been in a life and death situation myself, I can only imagine what a difficult decision it is to finally let go and succumb to the inevitable. But making that decision for someone else, well that’s just cruel.

Until we devise a way to truly communicate with our loving pets, it’s impossible to really know what they want and how they feel.  We can guess, based on watching them day-by-day, but how can you really know?

Since discovering Lulu’s cancer has spread to her spine, I’ve noticed week-by-week a steady decline in energy level. Before, she would nudge me in the mornings and evenings to remind me it was time for a meal and a walk. Now, she simply sleeps. On walks, she takes care of business as soon as we walk out the door and pulls me to go back to the house. She actually seems miserable as I force her to just go a block, thinking the exercise will do her good.

I’ve stopped forcing her. Now we head out to the yard, where she does her business and we call it a day. By Sunday I knew that things were declining quickly, but it wasn’t until Monday morning that I realized that the dreaded day was upon me.

The Bitch Is Back – No, Not the Good OneWe need your help!

It's interesting how easily you can fall back into a routine; how easily you can take for granted the obvious blessing you've been given. When Lulu was diagnosed with osteosarcoma back in August of '06 we were told that with the amputation and the chemo she'd have about a year to live –- osteosarcoma eventually jumps to another area of the body, usually the lungs, no matter when you catch it. They say, once you've found it, the cancer has most probably already metastasized, which is really just a big word for ticking time bomb.

Well, a year passed (we celebrated), than another year passed (we quietly celebrated, not wanting to jinx anything). Over the past 2+ years Lulu's situation went from being my number one priority and concern to being a thing of the past. While always in the back of my head, I slowly was able to refocus my energy back to work and helping others (including the feral feline population in New York). Being able to put worries to the side is a great survival mechanism.

I have a friend that says, "As soon as you stop worrying, the shit hits the fan," and in a way I suppose that's what has happened...